Retro Review: Folding Saga

Folding Saga NES Cartridge

We finally sat down to review the classic NES game Folding Saga. The game remembered by millions as the reason they got jobs in retail. An inspiration to a generation that would grow up to fold the clothes you buy and pick up the garbage you leave in the dressing room. This game is a business simulator that is occasionally interrupted by arcade mini-games. Oh, and the cartridge art is a clear rip-off of Burger Time.

Folding Saga Summary Report Screenshot

Folding Saga charges you with managing the operations of a retail clothing store. You’ll learn the importance of product placement, store layouts, and budgeting. Use detailed reports to monitor the store’s performance and react accordingly. Schedule the right number of employees to have good coverage, but not go over payroll budget.

Folding Saga Store Layout Menu Screeshot

Even if you can wrap your head around the complexity of store operations, you’ll have to complete mini-games to progress forward. These range from the tedious Meet-n-Greet to the exhausting and dreaded Changing Room Shift. Here, clothes are thrown from the dressing room and it’s your job to catch and fold them. All while dodging hazards such as dirty diaper, spilled drink, and vomit.

Folding Saga Changing Room Shift Minigame Screenshot

This title is truly a work of business art. Folding Saga holds up well due to its level of detail and accuracy in representing the challenges of managing retail stores. We give it 4.5 out of 5 on-call shifts!

Ocean Plastic Clean Up

Ocean Plastic Clean Up title screenshot

The ocean is full of gold. Plastic gold. Mostly just plastic. And it’s your job to guide robotic vehicles in collecting plastic and turning it into profit, or more vehicles. Like the Patchers from William Gibson’s The Peripheral, your vehicles extract plastic from the ocean to be recycled.

OPCU near game start

Like most RTS games, OPCU requires you to collect resources to build units. Where it differs is that there’s no combat. The game is a race to collect as much plastic as possible while maintaining the highest profit. Each randomly generated map has a limited supply of plastic. You need units to collect and transport the plastic, but each unit you build subtracts from your overall profit. Build too few units, and you won’t collect as much as your opponent. Too many, and your profits will be lower. Additionally, as more plastic is collected, the market price decreases. It’s tricky finding a good balance. Thankfully, there’s single player time attack and AI skirmish modes where you can experiment.

There’s a few different types of units to manage. Each player starts off with a floating processing platform and a single transport-collector boat. Fulfilling the role of mothership, the platform is for resource drop-off and new unit creation. The transport-collector on the other hand is the most basic unit. It extracts plastic from the water, and once it’s cargo hold is full, returns to the platform for drop-off. This isn’t very efficient as you won’t be collecting any plastic during transport. You’ll want to quickly collect more plastic to build specialized units. Dedicated transports and collectors help to streamline the process, but require coordination to use effectively.

Scene2-flat-960x540

We dig this non-combat RTS! While it could use some polish, and a few more units, it’s a fun and accessible game that provides several minutes of enjoyment.

FPV Quidditch

World Cup Quidditch 2K15 Xbox One Box Art

Ever since World Cup Quidditch 2k15 released with nothing new but roster updates, we’ve be needing a quality Quidditch experience. Real-world Muggle Quidditch just wasn’t going to cut it. Players can only move in 2-dimensions, and we need to think in 3d. The only solution was to get 14 people with disposable incomes to invest in FPV Quidditch gear! And build a scale Quidditch pitch. And buy all the officially licensed accessories to make it feel that much more authentic.

FPV Quidditch Goggles

First Person View (FPV) Quidditch combines the thrill of multirotor racing with the extreme joy of team sports. Slap some robotic arms on a quadcopter and you’re halfway there. Of course, if you want an experience as close to the Wizarding World as possible, you’ll need to spend a few thousand galleons more. Here’s our Cleansweep.11 keeper with the officially-licensed Gryffindor uniform!

Cleansweep.11 Quad

If only we could afford the Nimbus 4000…

Nimbus 4000 Ad

Let’s Quidditch!

Dr. B. Ball

SNES cartridge artwork

Dr. B. Ball is an action-adventure game that tells the tragic and true story of Dr. Brittany Ball. Born with a basketball for a head, everyone in Anytown, USA knew Brittany was destined to be a basketball player, everyone except Brittany that is.

Dr B Ball prepares to operate

Despite her obvious short comings, Brittany was determined to become a world-class surgeon. She played dangerous, no-rules street basketball to put herself through medical school and now needs to prove she’s the world’s greatest surgeon by competing in a series of operations. She has only one weakness: Brittany can only operate on a basketball court and has an irresistible urge to shoot three-pointers with medical waste.

Dr B Ball shoots for 3

Some say the lack of traditional basketball gameplay and excess gore made this game a flop, but maybe the world just wasn’t ready for a female surgeon with a basketball for a head. The storytelling helps to compensate for the tedious gameplay and mediocre graphics. We give this game 2.5 layups!

Top Instagram Posts 2014

Here’s what you liked the most in 2014:

1. Taking the top spot with a staggering 28 likes is Pippin Pet. Everyone loves a virtual pet Macintosh!

 

2. Tied for second place with 24 likes each are two of our personal favorites: Folding Saga (our first post!) and Digger of Graves.

We did a full review of DoG here.

3. A big hit with the artificial entities and their human underlings, Aggressive Automation earns 22 likes.

 

Least Liked Post

Last place: No one should be surprised that only 7 people liked a game that was a clear insult to all of us with color deficient vision.

 

Thanks for the likes! We look forward to providing you with the best real games coverage in 2015!